[Parody] Homeopathy on a Budget - Top 5 Cheapest Treatments

[Parody] Homeopathy on a Budget - Top 5 Cheapest Treatments

With the recent news that the NHS will no longer be funding homeopathy prescriptions, the cash strapped homeopaths amongst us are sure to be on the lookout for affordable treatment options.

Although few can complain about the variety of pills, creams, solutions, dilutions and salves on offer many amongst us baulk at the price tag for as simple a product as essence of rose oil.

Recently the number of those seeking alternative treatment options has been rising but access to these treatments is being mercilessly cut by organisations such as the Good Thinking Society and others. It’s time for homeopaths of all backgrounds to band together to help each other along to achieve our dream of affordable and wallet friendly homeopathic medication.

Some of the recommendations below are a little pricey however most are within nearly everyone's budget range. Read till the end for a homeopathic remedy option that retails for a ridiculously low price!

As stated this article is written for the homeopath on a budget; for those with money to spare I will be writing a recommendation for some premium options in the near future.

My top five recommendations from most expensive to cheapest are as follows:

Voss Still Water 

This “artisan water from Norway” provides all the same health benefits as the majority* of pricier homeopathic treatments but at a far lower cost and in greater quantities! This treatment is perfect for those suffering from minor dehydration and contains chemicals like dihydrogen monoxide that are proven to help regulate and maintain some of the body's most vital functions!

Evian Water 

This French blend of mountain water is a slightly cheaper (not to mention lighter) alternative to Voss water. The product is specially formulated to contain few chemicals. The most important components are used by NASA and the US military to help keep their astronauts and servicemen and women functioning optimally!

Waitrose Own Brand Water 

No more pricy than the next option but tastes 20% more middle class. As a bonus, it goes well with most meals and can even be used in cooking! Who knew one treatment could be so versatile?

Tesco Own Brand Water 

Similar effects as Waitrose own brand water but 36% less pretentious and you can avoid all those children with funny names like Kaeztleiyn (pronounced “Sarah”). All doctors interviewed described the vital components of the treatment as "necessary for human health and very safe."

Tap Water** 

This treatment puts all the rest to shame! Roughly 500x cheaper than the cheapest alternative coming in at around 0.097p per litre it is the most affordable of homeopathic treatments! For best results, I recommend adding 1 drop of Voss water per 1,00,000 drops tap water to give your preparation that extra bit of hydration potential.

Well, there you have it! My top 5 homeopathy alternatives that won't break the bank. If I was to choose a favourite I'd have to go with filtered tap water because it combines all the benefits we know and love in a cheap and versatile package.

*I say majority so I don’t get sued….

** If you are a resident of Flint Michigan please seek healthier alternatives.

Disclaimer: This article contains no medical advice and nothing I say should be taken as such. This article is a joke and I am not responsible for your behaviour subsequent to reading it. If you’re old enough to read this then you should be old enough to know better than to trust an online blog making dubious claims about products the mainstream medical and scientific community has deemed ineffective after countless studies.

Derren Brown: Underground – Review

Derren Brown: Underground – Review